May 2020 - Baltimore Ravens Wiretap
Hayden Hurst says he's been battling depression throughout his life and it led to a suicide attempt four years ago.
The Baltimore Ravens tight end, who was at South Carolina at the time, drank and took pills on that night in January 2016 to the point he blacked out.
"I woke up in the hospital," Hurst said. "I didn't know what happened. I had to have a friend fill me in. Apparently, I had been drinking and went into my apartment and cut my wrist. My friend found me in a puddle of blood. He called 911."
He woke to find himself handcuffed to the bed and confined to a hospital for a 72-hour period for observation.
"If I had a gun that night, I probably would have killed myself," Hurst said. "I'm glad I only had a knife. It'd be a totally different story."
Hurst's history with mental health dates back to 2013, when he was a promising pitcher in the Pittsburgh Pirates' minor league system.
"The goal was always just to get blacked out," he said. "Anything, Xanax or cocaine, that made that feeling go away, I tried it. Not the brightest of ideas I ever had."
Hurst's family understands the toll depression can take. His uncle died by suicide in 2008, as did Hurst's cousin two years later.
After Hurst's suicide attempt, Hurst stopped drinking alcohol and taking drugs.
"I don't have the answers to fix all of this," Hurst said. "It's still a trial and error to this day, but I will say I have much more good days than I do bad days. I'm not this superhero that's portrayed on TV. I'm a regular person."
