Anyone got an alarm clock? A loud one, preferrably. Try dropping it right in the middle of the pack of the NFC. While most of us viewers have had a good week to recover from our pleasant turkey naps, the National Floundering Conference features a group of teams content to sleep away the rest of the season. And for teams like the Giants, Falcons, Eagles, Rams, and Vikings, the dreams have already started to turn to full-fledged nightmares. They better snap out of it quick. You know what happens if you hit the ground before you wake up, don?t you? Just how bad has it gotten for the NFC? Well, over the past five weeks, while the AFC?s teams started to get more competitive, the NFC are 5 ? 20 against them. Tennessee and Miami, for example, have even been having a blast against them, each one shredding up better teams like the G-Men, Philly, Minnesota, and the Bears. Hard to figure out. Hey, you can?t blame the whole conference; Chicago, Dallas, New Orleans, and now Seattle, are enjoying mostly successful 2006 seasons, each one head of its respective division, and in good stead. But the wild-card scenario is filled with so many teams on the downslide, that even such 4 ? 7 teams as the Packers and Redskins have mathematical chances of sneaking into the playoffs. I may be a Redskin fan, but I still know it can not go on like this five weeks from now. In the AFC, meanwhile, we?re starting to see some real separation atop the Standings, with each division leader stacked up at the top of my Top-Team Rankings List this week. But look deeper, and you?ve still got teams that would make legit wild-carders. Denver may be slipping in a big way, but Kansas City and Cincinnati are making strong pushes, while the Jags are simply pushing our buttons. The Steelers are not mathematically done. But you don?t need a calculator to tell you they are finally toast. Their second time being shutout this year means they have just undergone one of the more decided post-Super Bowl sophomore slumps ever. And, of course, much of this week?s focus was on its quarterbacks. Some, like Tony Romo, Peyton Manning, Carson Palmer and Drew Brees, continue to light up the league with indiscrimate blasts of flame. But elsewhere the veteran benching routine continued, with Mr. Plummer of Denver being told to sit, paving the way for yet another rookie, Jay Cutler, to hit the scene. Will he do as Romo did, or will he follow the path made by the Gradkowskis and Vince Youngs? At the Meadowlands folks are starting to mutter about Eli Manning, wishing he?d get benched before pulling a repeat performance of 2005. And in Atlanta, folks want the head of a 25-year-old QB named Vick, who once was the golden boy of the Falcons franchise, but now is misguidedly seen as the cause for its destruction. I can only imagine what?s being hollered on those radio shows at night. Think what Vick offered post-defeat Sunday, and keep turning?it?up. Hand signals don?t work over radio waves. OK, then, here?s your list. Many shake-ups. Chicago dropped to # 5, Indy regained the top spot again, and Carolina, the Giants, and Jacksonville seem to be racing each other off the bottom of the list. One more week from now, will they still be around? This Week?s Rankings: 1. Indianapolis Colts (3), (10 ? 1) Finally, the kind of offensive dominance we always expected, as the Colts absolutely buried the undermanned Eagles on Sunday night. This time they gave the pigskin to a new weapon, rookie Joseph Addai, who not only lived up to expectations, he crushed them into the turf along with all the Philly DBs who couldn?t bring him down. This is a huge development. Now, with a back they KNOW can produce big numbers (207 yards from scrimmage, 4 TDs), Indianapolis has got itself an almost seamless offense. Now if only they could figure out a way to stop the other teams? RBs? 2. Baltimore Ravens (5), (9 ? 2) Pittsburgh Steelers fans still had hopes. They saw what Ben and Co. did last year after a bleak start, and were still frantically shaking their Magic 8-Ball by kickoff Sunday. No more they aren?t. Baltimore showed demonstratively why they are now 9 ? 2, 5 games ahead of the Steelers in the North. Punishing defense, almost error-free ball on the other side of the scrimmage, 29 turnovers caused and 39 sacks, and a ruthlessly confident swagger that puts them one short of the top slot for the first time all year. Make criticisms of McNair?s numbers all you want, but Trent Dilfer WON a Superbowl with stats that make Sir Steve look like Marino. It?s the opposing QBs who are in peril: an overall QB Rating just over 60 for the year vs. the Ravens. Ouch. 3. San Diego Chargers (2), (9 ? 2) Can you really blame the Bolts for almost entirely going to sleep on a team as tiresomely dull as the Raiders? Uh, yes, you can. One sign of a great squad is its ability to win the games it should, since they might not win all of the pick?ems. And boy, did San Diego almost blow that assignment. If not for a non-fumble call at the end of the game, the Ladainian Chargers wouldn?t have been able to sneak away with the W. But, they did. There are some strong, balanced teams in the AFC. If the Chargers don?t solidify that defense again ?and stop putting up clunkers like this one-- the postseason may be tougher than they expected. With Merrimena returning vs. the Bills Sunday, look for these guys to serve up moldy humble pie leftovers all day. 4. New England Patriots (3), (8 ? 3) In a sloppy game that featured nine total turnovers, and the two least scored upon teams in the NFL (Chicago: 120 points, Nw England: 131), Tom Brady was the quarterback that was able to scrape out the game-winning TD drive. But, despite the 8 ? 3 record something seems just?not?quite?right in Foxborough. Maybe it?s the three Superbowl trophies in five years that have set the bar so high. Or maybe it?s the fact Brady loves giving the ball away at Gillette Stadium (2 TDs, 7 INTs the past three home games). Whatever the case may be, the Pats won a tough game against a 9 ? 1 team with an outstanding defense. That says something. Their last five opponents feature such juggernauts as Tennessee, Houston and Detroit. My guess: 12 or 13 wins, easy. 5. Chicago Bears (1), (9 ? 2) On the other side of the early Christmas turnover gift-giving was Rex and the Bears, who were not able to capitalize the way Brady was. If he had won, maybe we wouldn?t all be as worried as we are about what is essentially a QB in his first full season. Now that he?s been facing tough defenses (Arizona NOT included), Grossman has been showing his erratic warts (15 giveaways last 6 games), plagued by inconsistency in recent weeks. He will have to learn from these games if he wants to field an efficient offense come December and January. The Bears D?s 34 takeaways may mean nothing if the offense?s 24 giveaways keep closing the gap. They?re also going to have to stay awake against their final five opponents (Minnesota, St. Louis, Tampa Bay, Detroit and Green Bay ). 6. Dallas Cowboys (7), (7 ? 4) We?ve been looking for a second banana in the NFC for weeks now, and these next two teams may have established themselves as locks, if for no other reason than ?most noone else wants in. Tony Romo is more than the real thing; he?s dangerous, and now has more than just T.O. giving thanks for the QB change (Terry Glenn: 89 yards, 2 TDs on Thursday). But what really makes the Cowboys threatening is their 4th-ranked D, which is swarming to the ball, giving headaches to the likes of Peyton Manning, and making mincemeat of Leinart and Gradkowski. And here?s the real blessing: Vanderjagt is gone from the roster, having proven he?s no longer good for any NFL squad out there. But with the way Romo?s getting protection, and finding the endzone, a FG kicker may becomne redundant before long. 7. New Orleans Saints (8), (7 ? 4) The Saints shook off a losing trend (three of four) with a convincing stomping of the decomposing Falcons. Devrey Henderson (158 yards, TD) reminded Drew Brees he has an extensive posse of targets to work with. Deuce McCallister finally came up with a big game Sunday, and Drew really is a godsend for fans of this beaten-up city, but if you?re looking for a weak spot on this team, try 27th-ranked rushing offense. That?s going to have to improve if they want to make it far into the winter games. 8. Denver Broncos (6), (7 ? 4) So that?s it for Jake Plummer. Benched. Dismissed. Did he deserve it? Was he the cause of Denver?s recent struggles? Has he been more disappointing than Grossman has been? When will I stop asking you questions? The fact is, Jake is clearly having an off-year, but take a look at Denver?s backfield. Tatum Bell, who had just started to find a rhythm, got derailed by two toe injuries, and his back-ups have proven to be less than capable. A once dominating rushing defense is now vulnerable, and Denver is one loss away from falling to third in the AFC West, and 1GB of a wild-card spot. Yeah, Jay Cutler may not be the answer. But bringing in the rookie QB has become en vogue this year, so why not? That passing game can?t get much worse, but this team needs to tend to more than just who?s throwing the balls around. 9. Kansas City Chiefs (12), (7 ? 4) The Chiefs, meanwhile, have undergone one helluva defensive resurrection (25th in 2005 to 12th in 2006). Larry Johnson is undeniable, Tony Gonzales has the most yards/game of all TEs, and a 5 ? 1 record at Arrowhead bodes well in the remaining schedule. Still, Trent Green (117 yards/game, and 0 TDs in 3 games) needs to start flourishing again, or some coming tough matchups (Baltimore, Jacksonville, and San Diego) may be too much of a test for the KC offense. 10. Cincinnati Bengals (13), (6 ? 5) If you think the Bengals aren?t finally back on track, you just haven?t been watching, dude. A 30 ? 0 pasting of Cleveland would have been almost substandard last year. But after week upon week of stumbling into each other and scratching their heads in 2006, the 4 ? 5 Bengals weren?t a gaurantee even to show up on the same field at the same time. Now, 102 points the last three games means this team is clearly in synch again. Apparently, Carson and Ocho are connecting so prolifically despite the latter?s being double-teamd most of the past two games. It?s not just the offense. Nine takeaways in two games means this D is back to its 2005 penchant for stealing footballs. Will all this be enough to edge in with a playoff spot? They?ll have to be almost error-free, and a game against Baltimore this weekend may kill those chances, but this is the only 6 ? 5 team out there actually going UP right now. 11. Seattle Seahawks (14), (7 ? 4) The Seahawks held on grittily for a good six weeks or so there, while Hasselbeck and Alexander recuperated. I think it?s safe to say Shaun?s back to normal ( 201 yards on 40 carries ). Hasselbeck was a little more rusty, but his team won, at home, and at 7 ? 4 are poised to make a strong push to the finish line. Hasselbeck will be fine, but that 18th-ranked D needs to make improvements to compete when the games really count. 12. Carolina Panthers (9), (6 ? 5) Here they are, all bunched together: the three biggest chokers of the week. (And that does not include the Falcons, who have been getting good at tanking it, and are now off the list altogether.) I don?t even know whose loss was more disgraceful. The Panthers, who had just polished off the Rams 15 ? 0 while allowing only 111 yards of offense, self-destructed against one of the worst pass defenses around in the Washington Redskins. Making a winner of first-time starter Jason Campbell was not something this team was aiming for, and now we?re all left trying to understand this team. 13. New York Giants (11), (6 ? 5) The Giants? decline has been more thorough, and consistent, and a little easier to understand. Injuries played a huge role, of course. But by blowing a 21 ? 0 fourth-quarter lead over the Titans, the G-Men officially announced they are adrift in a sea of miscommunication, injury, and almost no confidence whatsoever. Once 4 ? 1 perched atop the NFC East, yet now 6 ? 5, and teetering at the precipice of the wild-card spot, there is not much cause for optimism at the Meadowlands. 14. Jacksonville Jaguars (10), (6 ? 5) The Jags, meanwhile, are almost predictably hot-cold. This time, they went decidedly chilly, bowing out to the Bills, the coaches of whom think JP Losman has finally ?arrived?. I don?t know about that, but the Jags have arrived multiple times this year, only to go AWOL the following week. It?s hard to say what side of the win-loss column game 16 lands on, but with this kind of flip-flopping, I don?t see them getting past the first quarter of any first-round playoff game. 15. New York Jets (NR), (6 ? 5) The last spot on my Rankings. So often it falls to a team by default, where the teams that follow just don?t quite fit the bill. The Jets may have won their games against some average opponents, and mostly lost the ones they should have lost, but they are decent enough on defense, and gritty enough from coach Mangini on down, to earn a spot here. This team just does not have a strong future, this year or next, with Pennington at the helm. He may be a smart QB, but this team needs more versatility than that to thrive in the AFC.