This week’s edition is abbreviated due to time constraints from a hectic weekend on the youth sports front, and the Lions playing in the late-afternoon window where several cents are often written. 

$.01--Ladies and gentlemen, the No. 1 seed in the AFC after Week 7 is none other than the Cincinnati Bengals. Zac Taylor’s Bengals seized the top spot with a dominating 41-17 rout of the Ravens in Baltimore. 

The win improved the Bengals to 5-2, the same as the Ravens (and Titans and Raiders), but the Bengals are the only team that has yet to lose to another AFC team. Cincinnati’s losses are a pair of 3-point margins to Green Bay and Chicago. On Sunday, they made sure the Ravens knew who was the best team in the AFC North. 

In case fans needed to see one, this was the Joe Burrow breakout game. Sure, Burrow has had some impressive outings in his first season-and-a-half, but this was a blistering evisceration of the mighty Ravens defense. Burrow threw for 416 yards and three TDs. The pinpoint accuracy and the sense of how to leverage the throw to catch the defense at the exact right moment was a chef’s kiss on a tasty pastry. Tight end C.J. Uzomah caught two of the TDs, but it was Burrow hooking up with former LSU teammate Ja’Marr Chase that set the world on fire. Chase help pad his lead for Offensive Rookie of the Year with 8 catches for 201 yards and an 82-yard TD catch-and-run where he humiliated several would-be tacklers. 

The 41 points scored against the Ravens in Baltimore was a statement, but don’t discount what the Cincinnati defense did. In holding MVP candidate Lamar Jackson to a modest--for Jackson--day of 15-for-31 passes, 257 yards and one TD (a spectacular throw fit into a postage stamp opening for Marquise Brown in the back of the end zone) and 88 yards on the ground, the Bengals defense righted some wrongs. Their last 3 meetings before this one, the Bengals surrendered 114 points to the Ravens. This one showed the young defense is growing up quickly and found some bookend pass rushers in Sam Hubbard and Trey Hendrickson. 

It’s way too early to proclaim the Bengals the best team. It is not too early to proclaim them a team that’s good enough to win a playoff game, or maybe two. With good health and more consistency from the defense, there’s no reason not to think these Bengals have a good of a chance as anyone in the AFC in January. Then again, the same is still true of Baltimore. But most folks expected that from the Ravens. Not many expected the Bengals to be as good as they are so quickly. 

$.02--It’s officially time to start worrying about the Kansas City Chiefs. The two-time defending AFC champs are in last place in the West after getting destroyed on Sunday in Nashville. It was so lopsided that CBS switched coverage off Tennessee’s convincing 27-3 romp early in the fourth quarter. 

It didn’t spare the national audience from seeing one of the worst hits you’ll ever see a quarterback take. The fact that Patrick Mahomes walked off the field after this crushing blow is a lucky break. It’s one of the few lucky breaks the Chiefs and Mahomes are getting.  

All those magical throws where Mahomes got away with tempting fate the last couple of years simply aren’t working anymore. Mahomes has now thrown an interception in six straight games and is tied with Jets rookie Zach Wilson for the NFL lead with nine. He threw six and eight in the last two full seasons, respectively. And while the line in front of him is indeed a problem (looks at Orlando Brown Jr.), Mahomes is making some truly awful decisions with the ball and missing throws he has proven capable of completing in his sleep before this year.  

The Chiefs could probably get away with a lesser Mahomes if their defense wasn’t the football equivalent of poop running through an incontinent goose. They did hold Derrick Henry to below 100 rushing yards (86 yards on 29 carries), but the supersized RB threw for a TD. The Titans had receivers so open it appeared they must’ve had extra men on the field. Surely the defense can’t be that negligent! 

But it is, and that’s a huge problem for Andy Reid and the Chiefs. It’s a team designed to outscore opponents and their own subpar defense, but the offense is sputtering. There is no run game, period. Kansas City attempted just 5 runs with RB Damien Williams, the only RB to touch the ball. The inability to run feeds into the defensive strategy to drop more players in coverage and take away easy throws for Mahomes, who isn’t hitting them with the frequency he’s shown either.  

The Titans deserve credit in improving to 5-2 and definitively proving to be the better team. This was the sort of offensive balance anticipated when the team acquired Julio Jones to pair with A.J. Brown. They’re a formidable contender and could clinch the AFC South as early as Week 11 if things keep progressing in that otherwise atrocious division. The Chiefs--right now--are a last-place team and playing like one, too. 

$.03--Going into Thursday night’s game against the Denver Broncos, it was hard to know exactly who would be wearing Cleveland Browns uniforms. So many key Browns were hurt; in Tuesday’s injury report, 20 of the team’s 25 most important players on the 53-man roster were listed. 

No Baker Mayfield. No Nick Chubb, no Kareem Hunt, no Jack Conklin. No problem. Case Keenum and D’Ernest Johnson led the Browns to a 17-14 home win that was easier than the final score made it look but simultaneously a lot closer than it should have been. But the banged-up Browns will take it. They’re playing for wins and playoff vitality, not style points. 

Johnson did a fantastic fill-in for Chubb and Hunt in rushing for 146 yards and a touchdown. The Browns blocking was on-point all night too, but Johnson made some cuts and moves that showed he belongs in the big leagues. He’s come a long way from begging NFL teams for a tryout after the AAF folded, working on a commercial fishing boat while trying to keep the dream alive.  

This game was proof that the Browns might not be the NFL’s best team, but they are the deepest. Keenum was fine as the fill-in QB. Blake Hance at right tackle was better than a lot of starters around the league. Johnny Stanton caught a TD pass from Keenum as the backup FB, filling in for injured Andy Janovich. Mack Wilson had arguably the best game of his career at LB. The Browns needed guys to step up and they got just enough.  

It will need to sustain, unfortunately. Mayfield has a broken shoulder as well as a torn labrum and figures to be out for at least another month. Hunt is out for at least that long as well with a calf injury. But they did get Jarvis Landry back, Malcolm Smith and Jedrick Wills too. The Browns are 4-3 and have issues, but they cannot be counted out. 

Denver has major issues of its own, and their dire situation at linebacker is chief amongst them. After winning their first 3, they’re now 3-4 and in real danger of falling out of the playoff picture quickly. 

$.04--I spent way too much time watching one of the worst college football games in recent memory on Saturday. The Illinois win over Penn State in nine overtimes was a truly dreadful display of football. 

Illinois prevailed 20-18 when the Illini finally completed a successful conversion in the ninth overtime after Penn State had failed. It almost didn’t happen when backup QB Brandon Peters didn’t throw the ball to any one of the three uncovered Illini receivers in the end zone, but he still managed to sneak one in before the Nittany Lions coverage started to recover.  

How does a game go to nine overtimes and wind up with a score of just 20-18?!? The answer lies with the change to the collegiate overtime rules, an alteration that most of America learned on the fly while this offensively challenged game played out. After the first two overtimes, the teams each get one play to convert a 2-pt. conversion. No kicking allowed. And both teams failed on the first five tries, including a couple of horrifying dropped passes and some terrible run calls that were easily defended. The teams traded successes in the 8th overtime before Illinois finally prevailed. 

It was such bad football that it turned into good entertainment. The national audience expecting Oregon vs. UCLA got treated to the final 40 minutes of this monstrosity and it turned into a communal Twitter viewing party of something truly awful a la the original Sharknado. The only way this lousy game could have been more fun was if Illinois was forced to use Ian Ziering as an emergency QB. 

$.05--The heavily hyped “revenge game” for both Jared Goff and Matthew Stafford turned out to be a pretty entertaining game in Los Angeles. Goff’s Lions nearly seized their first win of the season against Stafford’s Rams in the first meeting since the two were swapped for one another. Los Angeles triumphed at home 28-19 in a game that was also a gentle reminder of why the Rams sent the Lions two first-round picks for Stafford and to get rid of Goff. 

It’s not that Goff was terrible. The numbers are decent and, until two fateful late drives, it was Goff’s best performance as a Lion. But when crunch time hit, Goff couldn’t match Stafford. The Rams playmakers on defense, Aaron Donald and Jalen Ramsey, stepped up instead. Ramsey picked off Goff in the end zone on the first play where Donald impacted Goff all afternoon, ending an impressive drive that could have given the Lions a late lead.  

Los Angeles withstood the best shot the Lions had. Coach Dan Campbell dialed up not one but two fake punts, as well as an onside kick. All worked. The Lions ran the ball well, snuffed out the Rams run game, even made some nice stops on defense. But the Rams simply had too much with Stafford throwing to Cooper Kupp, Robert Woods and friends. Big plays win football games, and the Rams made more of them on both sides of the ball.  

Both Goff and Stafford had done their best to downplay the drama all week. And the game largely passed without any craziness. Lions fans--and there were plenty of them in SoFi Stadium--cheered for Stafford in pregame. Rams fans largely greeted Goff with an underwhelming boo that was quickly replaced with the relative apathy that only L.A. can execute.

From a Lions fan standpoint, I was ready to move on from Stafford. Nothing personal against No. 9, nothing at all. It just hadn’t worked in 11 years and the scorching rebuild the team desperately needed wasn’t going to happen with him still on the roster. Stafford took way too much blame from far too many Lions fans and talking heads who should know better, but at the same time, he was never good enough to get the long-suffering franchise over the seemingly minor hump of a playoff win. Goff sure as heck isn’t going to be the guy to climb that hill, but the bounty of picks that came with him in the trade will help find that guy. Hopefully…

$.06--Bonus quickies

Because I can sleep when I’m dead…

--It’s not going well in Carolina. After starting 3-0, Matt Rhule’s team has dropped four in a row and looked progressively less competent each week. They hit a new low in getting smoked 25-3 by a bunch of random dudes in Giants uniforms.

--In the Falcons’ 30-28 win over the Dolphins, rookie TE Kyle Pitts caught 7 passes for 163 yards. That elevated him to the highest yardage total for a rookie TE through 6 games in NFL history, passing Mike Ditka. Yeah, that Ditka. He played--pretty damn well--once upon a time. 

--Zach Ertz has had quite a fortnight. In Week 6, Ertz caught a TD pass from Jalen Hurts for the Eagles. In Week 7, he caught one from Kyler Murray for the Cardinals after being traded immediately after the Thursday night game in Week 6. In the process, Ertz became the first player in NFL history with a receiving TD in consecutive weeks for two different teams.

--Houston surged out to a 5-0 lead against the unbeaten Cardinals, sacking Kyler Murray in the end zone and then netting a FG off the ensuing drive. They managed just 5 first downs and 89 yards in the subsequent 3 quarters. Davis Mills didn’t complete a pass for more than 6 air yards after the first quarter. The Cards won going away, 31-5.

--Tampa Bay embarrassed the Chicago Bears 38-3 with Tom Brady throwing for 4 TDs on just 211 yards. The Bucs ran for 182, 14 more than Justin Fields and the Bears offense could throw for against an injury-ravaged Bucs secondary. Fields had a rough day in his own right but got no help from his playcaller, his line or his receivers. 

--It’s time for the NFL to stop rewarding offenses with spot-fouls on defensive pass interference on underthrown deep passes. Cap the yardage at 20 yards. It was especially ridiculous in the Sunday night slogfest in Santa Clara, where multiple inches of rain fell during the 49ers-Colts game.  

--Things are spiraling the wrong way in Philadelphia. The Eagles trailed by at least 17 points the entire second half until a garbage-time TD lifted them to a more respectable 33-22 loss in Las Vegas. Interestingly, many have taken to blaming Jalen Hurts for the Eagles 2-5 start. Meanwhile, the Eagles defense allowed Derek Carr to complete 31 of 34 passes and do so without his best receiver, TE Darren Waller. The Philly defense has 3 sacks in the last 4 weeks, none in the last two. Hurts hasn’t been a transcendent talent but he’s about 15th on the list of issues with Nick Sirianni’s Eagles. For a more in-depth read on Philly, check out my good friend Mike Kaye’s piece at NJ.com. 

--As bad as it seems in Philadelphia, Eagles fans can take solace that they’re not the Jets. Rookie QB Zach Wilson has not played well and now he’s hurt, injurung his knee in New York’s putrid 54-13 loss to the Patriots. Not that Wilson is the only issue; the Patriots racked up 32 first downs and 551 yards. That’s the most yards in a regular-season game for New England since Week 2 of 2017 and the most first downs since Week 3 of 2015. The Patriots were 26th in offensive yards per game (322) entering the week. 

--Expect to hear A LOT about Deshaun Watson and his future this week. The Texans appear poised to trade the quarterback, and it seems a handful of teams (CAR, MIA, PHI) are interested/desperate enough to take the massive PR hit in dealing for Watson, who is not playing while the courts work out his sexual assault cases. If he’s cleared in court, Watson instantly becomes a franchise-altering QB. If not, the team spending multiple first-round picks to acquire him has altered their team in a way nobody wants. That it could be Carolina after the Jerry Richardson fiasco is stupidly ironic.