By Buster Gunning Beginning in the fall of 2007, Monday Night Football has announced a change in the way the Cincinnati Bengals will do player introductions. Officially going in to effect during the September 10th Monday match-up against the Baltimore Ravens, each Bengals player will introduce themselves and their recent felonies and/or misdemeanors. Chris Henry, wide receiver: Charges include giving alcohol to a minor, DUI, possession of marijuana and felony possession of a firearm. This is what Monday Night Football fans can look forward to when the 2007-2008 NFL season begins (if Chris Henry were actually eligible to play that is). Always innovative, MNF constantly seeks new ways to spice up the player introductions and having each Bengal announce his respective run-in(s) with the law is the latest angle. ?We feel this is the best way for the fans to get to know each player a bit more intimately,? said ESPN Executive Vice President John Skipper. ?Player relateability is crucial to gaining viewership and with the Cincinnati Bengals being the most relatable team in the NFL; they will make for the perfect guinea pig.? Here are just a few of the other crimes the Bengals players will announce: Frostee Rucker - Spousal battery Matthias Askew - Resisting arrest Odell Thurman - DUI Jonathan Joseph - Possession of marijuana (this was in '07) Reggie McNeal - Resisting arrest and drug possession Deltha O'Neal - DUI Other ideas the MNF execs are throwing around in the player introductions arena include: Each Seattle Seahawk player will tell a short story about Coach Mike Holmgren getting extremely pissed off over a relatively minor issue. Dallas Cowboys receiver Terrell Owens will announce something he doesn?t like about each team member. Each Texans player will give one reason why they believe their team?s ownership did not draft Reggie Bush. Minnesota Vikings players will regale old boat stories from the Daunte Culpepper era. And to the delight of the NFL?s three die-hard female fans, Arizona Cardinals players will each show their own camera phone picture of quarterback Matt Leinart nude in the locker room shower. (Thank you to Bengals fanatic Cassie Simms for her priceless input into this piece) What have you been convicted of?: [email protected] The preceding article was a piece of satirical fiction.