| Ashok Ayyar. 7th January, 2006 - 3:25 am
 The Texans lost 20-17 (in OT) Sunday to arguably a worse team, the 49ers. There was a dark cloud hovering over coach Dom Capers all season, and since owner Bob McNair promised him clemency till the end of the season, I expected an ouster soon from an owner serious about winning. I knew they would serve us the usual platitudes in the press conference, but I wanted the real scoop on the team, to find out what McNair would say to Capers after a miserable season that fell well below of expectations.
It wasn’t so tough to get this exclusive audience. You’d be surprised how easy it is to fool everyone and get into team facilities, especially if you’re dressed as the real team mascot.
The door was ajar, enough to overhear their Capers’ exit interview.
McNair- The 49ers? How the heck do we lose to them?
Capers- Ask Kris Brown.
McNair- Come on Dom, Kris is a decent kicker in a league full of bad ones. Think of the other losses. Why couldn’t you close out games in Tennessee, Baltimore, or St. Louis?
Capers- Kris again.
McNair- Damn it, Dom! Defense was your calling card. Now you’re telling me you can’t even protect a lead without a kicker’s help. I’d like to know why your patented 3-4 hasn’t done the job.
Capers- Casserly never gave me the linebackers I needed to do it right here. Losing Sharper didn’t help, either. I think what it comes down to, no matter what defense you’re in, it’s a matter of players going out and making plays. I think many times the scheme is overrated.
McNair- That’s why I’m letting you go and keeping Casserly.
Capers- What?
McNair- Your scheme IS overrated. Casserly stays because he put the offensive pieces in place, while you, Palmer, nor Pendry could figure out a way to use them. Your job is to take the personnel that you have, figure out what they can do and then go out and do it to the best of your ability and win football games. The pass rush has been strong, but you’ve been unable to use the same guys to stop the run. The run game has been solid but you couldn’t protect Carr behind the same line.
Capers- We couldn’t protect Carr because Casserly didn’t invest enough in offensive linemen. It was our obvious weak spot coming into the year, yet he didn’t draft but one in 2005.
McNair- On the subject of offense: we have Davis, Carr, and Johnson, all good players in this league. Why can’t we get a rhythm going and score down the stretch? We got rid of Palmer for Pendry, but nothing changed on offense. We ran well but Carr was still beaten like a piñata.
From that, I know the system scheme isn’t right for our personnel. When it is right, you win ballgames. We won two. Why did we even win those games, Dom?
Capers- Against the Cards, we used more quick outs, 3 step drops, plays designed to give Carr time to make good decisions.
McNair- And this adjustment took you four years! Your scheme may work with some skill sets, Dom, but you couldn’t harness the team you had and extract close wins out of it. The silver bullet for turning this same team into a 7 win team is an inventive coach, who can adapt his scheme for the talent he has.
Capers- And Dan Reeves can do that? Why didn’t you just give him the job when you hired him as a “consultant?” What do consultants do anyway?
Reeves- Fire people.
McNair- No, Dom, Dan is helping me compile a list of people we’d like to interview. This time, I’m not going to make the expedient selection based on reputation, because look where that got us with you. I need a fiery, offensive coach who can develop David Carr, and one who can set up a system made for his players. I need a coach who can hand the ball to Reggie Bush.
Reeves- We’re thinking of Pete Carroll.
Capers- But he just extended with USC, and he was worse in the pros than me!
McNair- No, we’re going to give everyone a fair look. Right now, Denver’s offensive coordinator Gary Kubiak is getting a hard look.
Reeves- We’re going to need a bellwether coach to transform this wether of a team to its bullish future, and deliver fan value.
Capers- So consultants use fancy buzzwords and clever puns, eh? Do you do anything else?
Reeves- I helped at practice once. The Zocor guys said I had to look like I was coaching, not consulting.
McNair- This is a performance business so I think it is in the best interest of the Texans to go ahead and make this change. You have handled yourself in absolutely the highest fashion and represented our organization in such a way to command respect and admiration. I’ve been assessing this whole situation for a number of months. I have looked at our whole organization and what we’re doing. I didn’t want to rely solely on my own judgment and that’s why I asked Dan Reeves to come in. I think we are very close to being a good team. We have work to do and we are already about that task, so thank you.
Capers- Thank you, Mr. McNair.
McNair- Oh Dom? Take your 3-4 with you on your way out.
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The sentences in italics are excerpts adapted from the Texans press release on 1/2/2006, regarding Capers’ dismissal. They are not direct quotes, but my attempt to adapt McNair’s message to my fictional dialogue. |
