James M. Morisette. 18th December, 2005 - 7:38 am
While driving westward on Interstate 80 through Cleveland Ohio enroute to my hometown of Detroit Michigan this afternoon, I found myself scanning the AM channels looking to see if there were any good sports shows on the radio. Specifically, I was searching for a sports radio host to bear positive news that the University of Michigan men's basketball team had regained prominence by defeating the UCLA Bruins.
Instead I found three straight channels filled with nothing but static. Eventually I came to a station with some Democrat zealot on the other end of the amplfied wave bickering about President George Bush again while simultaneously accusing the Republican party of creating everything leading up to Armageddon. I flipped the channel again only to hear a Republican loving radio host adamantly defending President Bush against claims being made by the Democrat zealot on the previoius network. I had nearly given up hope of finding a messenger of good news upon flipping to the next station and hearing some slow talking farmer talking about his fertilization preferences -- in the winter.
But then, just as I was about to push the CD button and listen to Trick-Trick and Eminem belt out with some controversial lyrics, I hit the seek button one last time. And lone and behold out of a small wave of static boomed a male voice that said, "Lions."
Of course being a devoted Detroit homer, my ears perked up like an alarmed dog in the night. Intially I thought the radio host was talking about the Penn State Nittany Lions due to the fact that I was not that far from Beaver country.
But then as the station - dubbed WDFN - became clearer and clearer, I heard the same radio host talking about the defiant events that are due to take place before and during the Detroit Lions/Cincinatti Bengals game scheduled for today at Ford Field. This host revealed, that Lion fans planned to protest their beloved football team's wretchedneess by participating in a "Millen Man March" before the game in an effort to oust Lions General Manager Matt Millen. Furthermore, as if the protest were not enough, many Lion fans will be donning Cincinatti orange during the game.
Of course I was initially steamed to hear that any Detroiter would even think of participating in such ridiculous behavior. "Detroiters always gripe about wanting to clean up their cities image," I said to myself. "Running around in orange and chanting 'Fire Millen! Fire Millen!' will only give national sports networks more reasons to make a complete mockery of the city." But then, after nearly a hundred spins of my Grand AM GT's tire rims, I had an epiphany.
This epiphany is as follows: Detroit Lion fans have had it. They are sick and tired of losing. They are tired of Matt Millen bringing in talent without character. They are tired of Matt Millen hiring coaches who do not have the appropriate personalities to counter the youthful and inexperienced men who play for him. But most importantly, Lion fans are sure as hell sick and tired of spending their hard earned money on tickets to watch a football team that looks sweet on paper but sour on the playing field.
Thus today, Sunday, December 18, 2005 Lions fans are going to make history. They are are going to declare 'civil' war on abhorrence. They will represent their city well by showing the world that they will no longer tolerate their football team being the laughingstock of the NFL. Today Lion fans are going to 'peacfully' march like soldiers past Ford Field in hopes that the national media will use its power to pressure Mr. William Clay Ford Jr. to oust the mortal who has time and time again betrayed the hopes of Lion fans -- Mr. Ford himself.
James M. Morisette covers Detroit sports for RealGM.
He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org