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by Buster Gunning
Tom Brady has watched his Patriots fight their way to a 5-3 record through the first half of the 2008 NFL season, and in actuality, he's pretty darn happy with where he currently stands.
"To be honest, it was a blessing in disguise," Brady said on Thursday morning from the still warm and sunny beaches of Santa Monica, California.
It's hard to believe that last season's MVP could be enjoying time off thanks to a severe knee injury, but that's exactly how Brady feels, thanks to some new found personal explorations.
"If I was playing this season, there is no way I would have been able to spend so much time with my beautiful girlfriend Gisele this fall," Brady beamed. "We spent a few weeks in New England, driving through Maine to watch the leaves change colors but then headed right to the West Coast so we could enjoy some better weather."
One must not forget that Brady also has a young son, and his baby's mama, living in California.
"I have been spending some time with my son as well," he admitted. "And to be honest, he has quite the arm for a little guy. I'm pretty proud of him. It's just too bad that his mother is more worried about him learning to use the potty and sing the alphabet."
After a few brief anecdotes about his son, Brady switched back to his favorite topic – Gisele.
"She's really terrific," he said. "I mean, have you seen any of her old Victoria Secret ads? It's like Christmas morning everyday when I wake up!"
It has been very hard for some New Englanders to deal with Matt Cassel at quarterback, but their preferred signal-caller isn't really too worried about getting back on the field.
"Matt is doing well enough and he's got that little mole on the side of his face to attract female fans," Brady said. "I was actually the one that leaked that infection story out to the press. The Patriots can deny it all they want, but I had Gisele rub grass and dirt into the incision on my knee. I'm pretty sure it's a real infection."
One might ask – why on earth would one of the best quarterbacks in the history of the game want to stay off the field?
"I'm just having so much fun away from the game, and coach [Bill] Belichick," he timidly admitted. "He runs a tight ship. I get to play more, and by play, you know what I mean."
Brady will return to the Patriots at some point, whether it is at the start of the 2009 season or later. Whenever it is, he'll be ready.
"I don't want people to think that I don't have the desire to ever play again, or win another Super Bowl," Brady added. "I absolutely do, and we will win another ring in New England."
"I just strive to be the best at whatever I'm currently doing," he said. "And right now, Gisele is giving me some pretty awesome scores."
Is Brady putting Gisele on too high of a pedestal?: Buster.Gunning@RealGM.com
The preceding article was a piece of satirical fiction.
