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A T.O. From TO
Authored by Jeff Risdon - 25th August, 2006 - 2:54 pm
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It?s Totally Overdue for a Time Out from Terrell Owens. If you tune in to ESPN or Fox Sports, you?ve been Taken Over with incessant coverage of the TO saga with the Dallas Cowboys. From Bill Parcells Talking Out about his diva wide receiver and TO?s gimpy hamstring, to the Token Obligatory references to TO in every ESPN Radio and Sportscenter segment, you?re no doubt Totally Overwhlemed with TO.

It?s not like TO is not interesting or worthy of some Television Outtakes. He?s a Totally Outstanding wide receiver on a very popular football team. But I Tantalizingly Outreach for the day when TO becomes Totally Obsolete, much like a Telephone Operator or Tony Orlando. I want to get T Obliterated on Tequila Overdoses like Tip O?Neill every time I hear the words TO from Mike & Mike or Jim Rome. It makes me want to put my head in a Toaster Oven, or get a Testicular Operation. I?d much rather eat Tainted Oranges with Terry O?Quinn, or listen to a Tanzanian Oboist playing Take me Out to the Ballgame, or see Oprah in a Tight Outfit, than watch yet another 8 minute breakdown of Today?s Only TO story. It?s just so Tremendously Onerous how much TO has Totally Obliterated all other sports news.

So Turn Off the Televised Overkill of the preseason domination of Terrell Owens. Go fix yourself a bowl of Toasted Oats, or plan a Touristically Obscure vacation to Tiffin Ohio or Tallequah Oklahoma. Go to the local zoo and check out a Tan Oryx, or count Tall Ostriches. Suck down some Tasty Oysters while studying Teutonic Oenology and Trigonometric Objects. Listen to Ashley Simpson warble Tonally Offkey, or some Terrifying Opera. Read my other columns on Teams Overrated or Terrible Officiating. Study up on how to treat a Torn Oblique, or how to cook a Turkey Omelet. Celebrate the underrated career of Tony Oliva, or read the great Tam O?shanter by the Tragically Overlooked Robert Burns. It doesn?t really matter to me, just put a Terminally Overdue Tune Out on all things TO. Maybe the Television Officials will get the hint and stop Terribly Overrating the importance of TO, and we can get away from the Transparent Observations and Tortuous Overkill that is all things TO.

The Talented Opiner who authored this can be reached at Jeff.Risdon@Gmail.com
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