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The Halfway Awards -- Megadeth Edition
Authored by Jeff Risdon - 31st October, 2005 - 2:59 pm
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Through Week 8, this NFL season has been chock full of surprises, both positive and negative. It's time to reveal the halfway awards. In honor of it being Halloween, the awards are based on the recent release of Megadeth's Greatest Hits. With apologies to the great Dave Mustaine, here are the Halfway Awards-Megadeth edition...

The So Far, So Good, So What Award goes to the Indianapolis Colts. Still undefeated, vastly improved defense, almost certain to lock up home field all the way to the Super Bowl. It's still not worth anything until they vanquish their playoff demons, and the Patriots, in the playoffs. And they're very aware of that.

The System Has Failed Award goes to the New Orleans Saints. Playing a "home" game at Giants Stadium, losing two games on referee mistakes, drawing a home game in Baton Rouge against a former LSU coach, and now their future home could be in any of 3 places. There's almost no conceivable way the NFL could do more to sting this team, other than humiliating them on national TV against a superior opponent. Oh wait, that comes in Atlanta on MNF in Week 14.

The Youthanasia Award goes to Daunte Culpepper. With his season-ending knee injury, the nightmare is over for the Vikings QB. His game regressed badly behind a porous line and without Randy Moss down the field. My preseason choice for NFL MVP ends the year with a QB rating almost 40 points below last season, throwing 12 INTs and fumbling 5 times while producing just 7 total TDs. In a lost year for the Vikings, Culpepper's injury spares him from further humiliation.

The Set the World Afire Award goes to Eli Manning and the Giants offense. Their 36-0 drubbing of the Redskins' strong defense proves the highest scoring team in the NFL is legit. Manning has almost doubled his yards per game, cut back on mistakes, and opened the field for Tiki Barber to run wild.

The Addicted to Chaos Award goes to the New York Jets and their quarterbacking roulette. Any time you lure Vinny from the beach to lead your team, you've got serious problems. It's hard to fathom losing your top two QBs in one quarter, but that's what the Jets are dealing with. Somewhere, Ray Lucas is surely warming up for his shot.

The Sweating Bullets Award goes to Marty Schottenheimer, head coach of the Chargers. The team is 4-4 but could very easily be 7-1 or even 8-0. Any time a team collapses in the clutch that frequently, it generally results in a coaching change. Marty's heard this song before, as he's never been able to shake his inability to pull out tight games. San Diego is good enough to waltz deep in the playoffs, but they might not even get into the dance.

The Foreclosure of a Dream Award goes to Brett Favre. In what should be his last season, the decimated Packers are among the worst 3 teams in the league. It's a sad ending to one of the greatest careers in NFL history. Here's hoping everyone remembers him for the great seasons and not this year's interception-plagued loss fest.

The Burning Bridges Award goes to Mike Martz. The oft-criticized St. Louis coach leaves the team for a heart ailment, and the team decides to make it a permanent vacation. Martz decided to spout off about the plagues on the Rams, ensuring he won't be welcomed back. A special The Doctor is Calling Award goes to Martz's replacement, Joe Vitt, who is also set to miss some time for an angioplasty procedure. Here's hoping the Rams' team doctor is a cardiologist.

The Crush 'Em Award goes to whomever gets to play the Texans and their pathetic offensive line. David Carr gets sacked on every 4th pass attempt, and he's been hurried or knocked down on an unheard-of 77% of his attempts. Carr gets the High Speed Dirt Award for peeling himself off the turf and continuing to get under center.

The Truth Be Told Award goes to the NFL and its referees. By my count, 7 games have been decided by simply dreadful calls or referee mistakes. That's 7 too many, but the NFL cannot offend the union and rightly criticize the awful officiating. I'll do it for them: the officiating this year is worse than ever before and it's hurting the product on the field. Either get rid of the bad officials or allow coaches to challenge bad calls, and call them out in their press conferences, without fear of recrimination.

The Hidden Treasures Award goes to Rod Smith, the greatest undrafted player in modern NFL history. He's never gotten the credit he deserves for being so good for so long. He's one of the best route runners around, and if he can touch the ball he catches it. Sounds simple, but look at all the high draft picks that cannot do either skill.

The Chosen Ones Award goes to the impact rookie LBs. Shawn Merriman, Derrick Johnson, Odell Thurman, and DeMarcus Ware are all making big differences for their teams, and it was a supposedly lean year for impact defenders. Picking a defensive rookie of the year is going to be a very tough call, though at this point I'd give it to Thurman for his 7 forced turnovers.

And finally, The Still Alive and Well Award goes to the Patriots. It hasn't been pretty, but the injury-ravaged defending champs sit atop their weak division and welcomed back the heart of their defense, Tedy Bruschi. Despite being outscored 180-159 and starting four 4th stringers, they're headed to the playoffs again.
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