$.01--The NFL weekend kicked off Thursday night in Foxboro with the New England Patriots facing the Houston Texans. New England was down to third-string, third-round rookie Jacoby Brissett at quarterback with Tom Brady still suspended and impressive backup Jimmy Garoppolo sidelined with an injured shoulder.

Most teams would stand little chance in starting a greenhorn rookie on a short prep week while facing a returning playoff team that upgraded both at QB and wide receiver. Most teams don’t have Bill Belichick as head coach.

Belichick proved his coaching mettle once again as the Patriots dominated the Texans 27-0. He and Offensive Coordinator Josh McDaniels masterfully tailored a game plan specifically for Brissett, who is often hesitant as a passer but brings great mobility and impressive accuracy on short throws to the table.

Instead of asking Brissett to be Brady or even Garoppolo, Belichick & Co. allowed him to be the best Jacoby Brissett he could be. 11-of-19 for 103 yards passing won’t win many games, but it was more than enough for the Patriots. The North Carolina State product, who miserably washed out of Florida prior to transferring, also ran for 48 yards, including a fantastic 27-yard TD. LeGarrette Blount happily and successfully played the role of pack mule, toting the pigskin 24 times and hammering at a tough Texans front.

Belichick was smart enough to trust his defense to confuse Brock Osweiler and snuff out Lamar Miller and the Houston run game without committing extra help in the box. The Texans special teams collapsed, fumbling away two kickoffs and blowing a couple other opportunities to pin Brissett deep in his own territory.

This game will go down as one of Belichick’s masterpieces. Houston played poorly but that’s not a bad Houston team; they’re likely to seal the putrid AFC south sometime in early November. The cliché of Belichick playing chess to Houston counterpart Bill O’Brien--a Hoodie disciple--playing checkers doesn’t do it enough justice. This was contract bridge versus old maid, Civilization V versus Pong.

You can loathe Bill Belichick all you want, but you’d better respect him as the best coach of the Super Bowl era. Rolling the Texans 27-0 with a third-string QB and scads of lingering injuries erases any doubt.

$.02--The Battle of Pennsylvania proved a one-sided war, with Philadelphia marching all over Pittsburgh like the US invading Grenada. CBS actually switched away from the massacre at the end of the third quarter with Philly cruising 34-3, which wound up being the final score.

Once again Eagles rookie QB Carson Wentz impressed. The No. 2 overall pick showed great command of Doug Pederson’s offense, consistently choosing the correct option and exploiting the weaknesses in the Pittsburgh coverage. The short-to-long process works for Wentz, and it really worked against a Pittsburgh defense that had trouble with pursuit angles and tackling.

Give a Jim Schwartz defense a big lead and the Eagles Defensive Coordinator will destroy his opponent. Give him a talented tackle like Fletcher Cox and the destruction will be rampant. Cox took guard David Decastro’s lunch money, and perhaps his manly vigor, with an incredible strip sack where he drove Decastro backwards like the 300+ pounder was a toddler. His defensive backs sat on routes and attacked the ball in the air. Officially the Eagles registered 12 PDs but it sure seems like they had more in the two quarters I watched. Just about every Roethlisberger throw was into smartly layered traffic.

The Eagles are getting it done in no small part because they’re not beating themselves. Philly is the only offense without a giveaway. They committed 10 penalties today after just 12 in the first two weeks, but those flags have resulted in just four opposing first downs, 3rd best in the league. Wentz gets solid protection from his line, too. Pittsburgh failed to sack the redheaded rookie and really didn’t pressure him effectively. Wentz has already proven he brims with confidence, and when you can’t knock that out of him the North Dakota State product is very effective.

Pittsburgh fans shouldn’t let this one get them too upset. Successful Steelers teams of recent vintage seem to always have one or two of these absolute clunkers. Remember the 31-10 loss at Cleveland, or the lifeless loss to Cincy a year earlier? Have faith in Mike Tomlin in getting his Steelers back into winning mode sooner than later, though next Sunday night hosting a pretty good Kansas City team will require rapid improvement in several key places. 

$.03--Washington scored a huge win in New York, vanquishing the host Giants 29-27 when rookie Su’a Cravens picked off Eli Manning to snuff out New York’s last gasp. Washington notch their first win while keeping the Giants from burying them in the NFC East, hanging Ben McAdoo his first loss as New York’s rookie coach.

That was a pretty fitting end to a game both teams appeared hellbent on losing. Manning threw two fourth-quarter INTs, including one in the end zone. Washington’s Josh Norman dropped another one at the goal line early on, and the Giants scored on the next play. Washington had a lost fumble on a punt return where an unaware blocker stepped on the rolling ball. The Giants were guilty of 11 penalties, including center Weston Richburg being ejected. Another penalty wiped out a blocked punt. Bad clock management cost Washington a field goal at the end of the first half.

What gets overshadowed in all the sloppiness is Washington manufacturing ways to win without relying on Kirk Cousins carrying them. Even though the Skins QB leads the league in passing yards and is on pace for over 5200 yards, when Cousins has had to do too much it’s generally not gone well. In this one, Jamison Crowder electrified with a circuitous punt return and a 55-yard TD pass where the throw went maybe 5 yards. Cousins did connect with Desean Jackson on a long bomb for a TD, and he avoided the big mistakes.

Given all their injuries, including a forced offensive line shuffle after losing two starters up front, it would have been easy for Washington to drop to 0-3. They avoided that ignominy and stayed relevant in the chase. The Giants blew a golden opportunity to squash the defending division champs, and it might come back to haunt them in what sure looks like a crowded NFC middle class.

$.04--The Cleveland Browns took baby steps towards the victory column in Miami. The Dolphins needed overtime to hold off a plucky Browns team 30-24, wrapping it up with a Jay Ajayi touchdown run right after the Cleveland defense somehow forgot to cover Jarvis Landry down the field.

That wasn’t the only Cleveland gaffe. Replacement kicker Cody Parkey missed three field goals, one day after joining the Browns when Patrick Murray went on IR. The final of those misses was a potential 46-yard game winner as time expired that went wide left.

For Cleveland fans, losing in overtime needs to be a moral victory. And there really are positives for the folks in my hometown. Really. Among them:

• Cody Kessler shook off a cold start and played a smart game in his first start at quarterback. He’s definitely got limitations but appears to understand them pretty well. That’s not something anyone ever said about Robert Griffin. Or Brandon Weeden. Or Brady Quinn. Or Charlie Frye. Or Kelly Holcomb. Or Johnny Football.
• Rookie CB Briean Boddy-Calhoun played well beyond his early pick-six that gave the Browns a rare lead. I was a BBC fan in the draft process and if he can keep this up the Browns have solved the pesky slot CB issue that has plagued them.
• Terrelle Pryor put on a show. He was impressive as a receiver, showing the ability to get open and makes catches away from his body. Pryor had vitality as a runner. He even took some snaps at quarterback, his position at Ohio State, and completed 3-of-5 for 35 yards. For a team lacking weapons, having an athlete with this kind of versatility is a big boon for Hue Jackson and the Browns.
• The running game finally clicked, posting 169 yards on the ground against a Miami defense that was allowing under 4 yards per carry and features an impressive front line with Ndamukong Suh and friends.

Baby steps are necessary when you’re as young and disadvantaged in talent as the Browns are right now. The flip side is for Miami, which needed overtime at home to beat what is essentially an expansion team roster. Ryan Tannehill continues to make too many mistakes and the overall consistency with the offense remains troubling. They got the win, but the Dolphins shouldn’t feel too proud about improving to 1-2.

$.05--Dallas ran past Chicago 31-17 in one of the least appealing Sunday Night Football games on this year’s docket.

This game held a lot more marketability before the injury bug struck Chicago with the virulence of the Spanish Flu of 1918. Chances are if you’ve heard of the Bears defender, he missed this game because of injury. Jay Cutler also is out, and the injuries continued to pile up during a game where the Bears started four rookies on defense who wouldn’t be on the field otherwise.

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">DB Harold Jones-Quartey is out with a concussion.<br>DL Jonathan Bullard is currently out with a foot injury. His return is questionable.</p>&mdash; Chicago Bears (@ChicagoBears) <a href="https://twitter.com/ChicagoBears/status/780229892122169344">September 26, 2016</a></blockquote>

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That doesn’t mention starting RB Jeremy Langford, who was forced out of the game with an ankle injury too.

It’s tough to be critical of Chicago given all the devastating injuries. They weren’t apt to be very good even with all hands on deck, but now they don’t stand a chance. They did try hard, including a surprise onside kick recovery nullified by a phantom offsides penalty. And before Brian Hoyer strip-sacked himself down the stretch, what’s left of the Bears actually had a fighting chance.

They’ll get little sympathy from Dallas fans, who played without standout left tackle Tyron Smith, starting CB Orlando Scandrick and are still sans Tony Romo. They even lost Dez Bryant on the first drive with what looked like a scary leg injury before he triumphantly returned to catch exciting rookie QB Dak Prescott’s first career TD pass. The Cowboys overall depth and superior skill position talent carried them to the home win and keeps them very much in the early playoff picture at 2-1. And with a trip to lowly San Francisco next week, Prescott and his Cowboys stand a strong chance of opening 3-1.

Given all their injuries, there is a real chance Chicago winds up picking in the top 3 overall. That will lead to some pesky questions about Cutler, who is due at least $16M in each of the next four seasons but can be moved without too harsh of a financial hit after the year. Then again, blaming Cutler for the injury-ravaged mess around him is blaming a raccoon for turning your lidless, full trash can into a family buffet.

$.06--LSU coach Les Miles became “former LSU coach Les Miles” in Saturday night’s dramatic loss at Auburn. Trailing 18-13 late in a game where its quarterback play was barely D-III level, LSU rallied to try and get into the end zone for the win. And they did with a fantastic catch in the corner of the end zone on a desperate rollout by QB Danny Etling well after the clock expired.

Ah yes, that pesky clock. LSU was guilty of an illegal motion the play before, which meant the Tigers got one last shot with one second left. The clock starts as soon as the official sets the ball ready for play, but LSU wasn’t ready for that. The clock expired well before the ball got snapped and LSU had at least 2 receivers still running to get into place even then. That’s 100% on Miles and his coaching staff for not having the young players prepared. Miles wandered idly on the sideline before the play, trying to get a word with an official instead of readying his team for the ultimate play.

The powers that be in Baton Rouge have finally seen enough with the Mad Hatter Miles. Numerous sources reported Sunday afternoon Miles and Offensive Coordinator Cam Cameron were both fired. This was just the latest in a series of ponderous Miles coaching decisions and blunders, gaffes which have pockmarked his Bayou Bengals career. Gruff Ed Orgeron takes over on an interim basis and will try to get LSU bowl eligible.

Don’t laugh; it’s a real possibility the Tigers might not get to 6 wins. The only other unranked team in the SEC West is Mississippi State, whom LSU already beat 23-20. Next week is at Florida, ranked 23rd after an epic choke job of their own in Tennessee. The four other SEC opponents (Alabama, Arkansas, Ole Miss and Texas A&M) are all ranked, and all will be favored even in Baton Rouge. Even one of the two nonconference dates remaining is no picnic, as Southern Miss already has one SEC (Kentucky) win this year. There aren’t four more wins on their schedule unless Orgeron, a grizzled defensive line coach, magically develops a viable passing attack with what remains arguably the worst QB talent of any FBS team and an overrated group of receivers who clearly have zero confidence in said QBs.

$.07--On Fox’s pregame show, news hound Jay Glazer definitively stated what many in the media have been speculating: Adrian Peterson has taken his last snap as a Minnesota Viking unless the star running back agrees to a significant contract reworking.

Here’s the dirty details, courtesy of a similar report on CBS Sports:

No running back will earn more than Peterson's $7.75 million salary in 2016, or count more against the salary cap (Peterson carries a $12 million cap charge). In 2017, those totals rise to $18 million in total cash and cap, complete outliers for the running back position, and especially for a runner who will be coming off a serious injury at age 32.

Minnesota isn’t paying Peterson anything close to those figures. No NFL team will. Heck, few NFL teams could even try to fit that into a salary cap.

Peterson netted exactly 50 yards and 31 carries in 2016, and that was when he was healthy. He finished 2015 with several clunkers too, including 23 carries for 45 yards in the playoff loss to Seattle. He’s now torn his ACL twice. It’s not only fair to question Peterson’s viability going forward, it’s an imperative.

The Vikings did just fine without him on Sunday in hammering the Panthers in Carolina 22-10. Minnesota couldn’t run the ball with his replacements either, a function of the injuries and lack of talent on the front line. The Vikings netted just 58 yards on 24 carries and produced just two rushing first downs, but their defense remains a serious force. They picked off Cam Newton three times and sacked him 8 times on 12 total QB hits in improving to 3-0. Minnesota wins with defense and must spend accordingly to keep Mike Zimmer’s D strong, not throwing money at a fading star who hasn’t produced more than sporadically in the last three years and coming off another serious injury.

$.08--College/Draft quickies

--My cousin Brian is a Florida grad. His wife Mindy is a Tennessee grad, and together they were at Neyland Stadium to take in the Gators and Volunteers. Brian loved the first half as Florida stormed out to a 21-3 halftime lead. Mindy laughed last however, as her Vols played a near flawless second half and smoked the Gators 38-28. In one particularly amazing (or atrocious, depending on your allegiance) stretch, Tennessee went from a 10-21 deficit to a 31-21 lead in less than five minutes of game time, then needed another 3 minutes to push the lead to 38-21. I feel even better about my Ohio University Bobcats falling to Tennessee one week ago by just 9, as will Brian’s mom, a fellow Ohio grad. Sorry Brian…

--I was in East Lansing to witness the stunning Wisconsin blowout of the host Michigan State Spartans. The Badgers started redshirt freshman QB Alex Hornibrook and it worked. A star might have been born as Hornibrook carved up the Spartans defense with poise and impressive accuracy. Michigan State’s offense couldn’t sustain any success and played with little energy or creativity. The one bright spot for the Spartans was safety Montae Nicholson, who sure looked like a potential first-round pick in April if the big, rangy junior opts to declare.

--Props to Eastern Michigan, which improved to 3-1 Friday night with a comeback win over Wyoming. The Hurons, err Eagles, have not finished better than 2-10 since 2011 and hadn’t beaten an FBS opponent at Rynearson Stadium since 2013. This is a banner year for the MAC so it’s possible EMU is done winning in ’16, but it’s already a great season in Ypsilanti. Keep a draft eye on sophomore QB Brogan Roback down the line, he’s got legit tools.

--I only caught the first half of Texas A&M’s win over Arkansas but that was all I needed to remain convinced Aggies edge rusher Myles Garrett is the top prospect in the 2017 NFL Draft class. Garrett is a physical freak of nature but he also happens to possess a polished and mature football acumen. He should be the first non-QB taken. 

$.09--NFL Quickies

--Really enjoyed CBS giving the mic to 15-year-old Austin Denton on the pregame show. The young cancer survivor performed a solid interview with Broncos coach Gary Kubiak and then joined James Brown and the crew in the studio. Denton wasn’t noticeably nervous and handled himself like a professional. Go get ‘em, kid!

--The best hit you’ll see all week, perhaps all year, courtesy Bears safety Adrian Amos. And it’s a clean hit too…

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Adrian Amos with a hit straight outta NFL Blitz <a href="https://t.co/wIDGamguEz">pic.twitter.com/wIDGamguEz</a></p>&mdash; Mike Renner (@PFF_Mike) <a href="https://twitter.com/PFF_Mike/status/780205023309561856">September 26, 2016</a></blockquote>

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--I’ve seen it over a hundred times but I’m still not tired of the Ice T lemonade stand ad

--Seattle finally got the offense cooking in their 37-18 romp over San Francisco. Doug Baldwin and Jimmy Graham both hit 100 yards receiving and Christine Michael actually topped 100 rushing yards. The Seahawks converted 9 third downs, matching their total from the first two games.

--Sticking with the 49ers, their Week 1 28-0 trouncing of Los Angeles is going to stand out as one of the oddest outcomes of 2016. The Rams haven’t lost since and the Niners are back to looking very much like the team most, including myself, predicted would earn a top 5 overall pick.

--Philip Rivers got flagged for taunting late in San Diego’s tough loss at Indianapolis. The Chargers QB was guilty but the act in question is something we see from Rivers at least 10 times a week for every game in his long career. The fact it came on the road at a critical juncture against a celebrated team in desperate need of a win was not lost on the NFL conspiracy theorists.

--Not sure what this means in terms of fantasy strategy, but in two of the first three weeks the highest-scoring fantasy player in my matchups has been the Minnesota defense. They almost exactly doubled the total points from Roethlisberger and Carson Palmer, the two QBs started, in this week’s contest.

$.10--Arnold Palmer passed away Sunday evening. The golf legend was 87. In honor of Palmer, I scrapped what I originally penned here to share my Arnold Palmer story.

I met Palmer in 1996, when I worked as a desk manager at a hotel in suburban Cleveland (Embassy Suites in Beachwood, FYI) that served as the host hotel for the US Senior Open. I was fortunate to check in several golf dignitaries and recognizable names, but none was bigger than Mr. Palmer.

He didn’t come in on his own, but had a handler do the desk work. A few minutes later Palmer came in and approached the desk, having the same handler give me and my fellow clerks rainbow umbrella pins. For most big names who came through our hotel, and that included rock bands, politicians and Oprah, that would suffice. Not Palmer. He shook each of our hands and made eye contact while doing so. He came back down to the lobby a few minutes later and held court for a good 45 minutes, greeting fellow golfers, caddies and star-struck guests.

Palmer didn’t really want pictures but took them with fans who had cameras (this was before flip cell phones, let alone ones with cameras). Every person he greeted got legit eye contact and a warm smile. It was easy to see why he was so popular even though by that time he was some 20 years past being a competitive championship golfer.

The Saturday morning of that weekend I saw the competitiveness. Bob Charles was the early leader but Dr. Dave Stockton was closing quickly. Palmer saw Stockton waiting for his courtesy car that morning and I watched a 67-year-old Palmer engage in subtle, good-natured trash talk. I don’t want to misquote him but I vividly recall Palmer jabbing at Stockton that he wasn’t sure if he could do it again. I don’t think Palmer was even in contention by that point, but he still had the drive.

Stockton--who couldn’t have been a nicer guy--played along with Palmer but got real stone-faced and quiet once Arnie and his gathering Army departed. Of course all of us staff were proudly wearing the rainbow umbrella pins on our uniforms. It had to be something else to see that sort of support going against you in what is the most individual of all sports. Arnie’s Army must’ve been as close to home-field advantage as a golfer could ever get outside of playing on a course he designed himself.

Stockton wound up winning the tournament, and I didn’t see Palmer after that morning. Shortly thereafter I told that story to my grandfather, an avid golfer who was always a Jack Nicklaus fan over Arnie. Being from Ohio, that was sort of an unspoken expectation. But grandpa just smiled and said, yeah that’s what it’s all about.

Rest in peace, Arnold Palmer. And say hello to my grandfather while you’re up there.