$.01-- Of all the surprising outcomes, and there were a handful, none is more of a head scratcher than Los Angeles beating Seattle 9-3.

The Rams played one of the worst all-around football games in NFL history last week. They got blanked 28-0 at San Francisco to a 49ers team that is essentially built to lose to teams built like the Rams. Jeff Fisher’s troops could barely eke out a first down and got run off the field by Blaine Gabbert throwing to Jeremy Kerley and Quinton Patton.

This week, the Rams offense sputtered once again. Todd Gurley had another disturbingly pedestrian game (19 carries, 51 yards). Case Keenum had trouble finding receivers who cannot get open. LA is now 6-for-27 on third down this year, and four of those conversion--including three here--came via penalty. They still haven’t breached the end zone in two full games.

Seattle’s offense was even worse on Sunday. Russell Wilson couldn’t get anything sustainable going, like trying to plant corn in concrete. Only two drives gained more than 40 yards or secured multiple first downs, a 14-play field goal drive and a last-chance drive that ended with a Christine Michael fumble. Wilson was sacked twice, hit 9 times and harangued more often than not. On the heels of their lackluster 12-10 opening win over Miami, the Seahawks offense has been nothing short of terrible.

The common denominator for Seattle’s opponents is a very talented defensive line. It’s the strength of the team for both Miami and Los Angeles, where Ndamukong Suh and Aaron Donald are the top dogs on their respective rosters. As is apparently their custom by design, Seattle’s biggest weakness is its own interior offensive line. Wilson, Tyler Lockett and Doug Baldwin are all far from 100 percent healthy, which stymies the passing attack. Starting RB Thomas Rawls is also infirm, having missed the opener and still ceding carries to the immaculately overrated Michael.

Both these teams are 1-1. In fact, the entire NFC West is 1-1. Seattle has to try and get the offense on track against San Francisco, which blanked these Rams but gave up 46 to Carolina on Sunday. LA will try to finally score a touchdown against Tampa Bay, which has given up 64 points after Arizona bombed them 40-7. If these two teams struggle offensively once again next week, then it’s really time to sound the alarms. 

$.02--Minnesota opened the truly beautiful US Bank Stadium on Sunday Night Football. They probably would have liked for the NFL to have scheduled an opponent besides the rival Green Bay Packers.

Even so, the Vikings scored the important NFC North victory as Sam Bradford outdueled Aaron Rodgers. Wait, what?!?

Yeah, that actually happened. Sam Bradford, in Minnesota for just two weeks as the picture of utter franchise desperation, emphatically outplayed perennial MVP front-runner Aaron Rodgers. Bradford shook off some wild misses on early timing throws and carved apart a solid Green Bay secondary. He was especially effective in hitting Stefon Diggs for 9 catches, 182 yards and a TD. The Packers could not cover the second-year wideout and Bradford smartly kept going to the well. The journeyman QB was seeing the field well and delivering strikes with deft touch.

Rodgers struggled. He got little help from his offensive line, which had major issues dealing with Minnesota’s amped-up front. Then again, Bradford took a lot of hits behind the Vikings’ sieve-like pass protection too.

It’s time to really start worrying about Rodgers. He fell of his lofty perch with a lot of uncharacteristic “off” games last year, and this one falls right in line with that. As ESPN analyst Ryan Clark noted after the game, Rodgers sure looks like he’s aiming the ball more than he’s throwing it. The game-sealing INT to Trae Waynes was a great example. So was the earlier near-INT in the red zone by Terrence Newman, a great play by the veteran CB but also a telegraphed throw that didn’t have requisite velocity either. Rodgers seems more impacted and more sensitive to the rush. The supporting cast isn’t nearly good enough to thrive if Rodgers is only even 90% of his peak self; other than Jordy Nelson and the occasional rumbling outburst from Eddie Lacy, the Packers just don’t have much skill position talent.

Make no mistake, there were still moments where Rodgers reminded us why he’s headed to the Hall of Fame and should be atop the short list of best QBs of the 21st century. But they’re not as often as they used to be. He’s also not getting help from a coaching staff that eschewed a sure field goal to risk it on 4th down and failed. Packers fans continue to grumble about Mike McCarthy, and those groans are getting louder.

The victory could be quite costly for Minnesota. Adrian Peterson left with what looked like an ankle injury but was quickly diagnosed by the team’s PR staff as a knee after he took a hit in the pile. Peterson has struggled in 2016 with just 50 yards on 31 carries, but he’s always a threat to break a big one. He left on crutches and unable to put any weight on the right leg.

If he’s out, that significantly impacts the Vikings offense going forward. Play action is a huge part of how they help the QB deal with the inadequate pass protection. It is a lot tougher to sell play action to Matt Asiata or Jerick McKinnon than it is to fake a handoff to Adrian Peterson. They cannot depend on Sam Bradford making Cris Collinsworth coo like an excited teenage girl meeting One Direction every week. 

$.03--New England destroyed Miami (score) but the story for the Patriots is at quarterback. Jimmy Garoppolo was playing lights out, completing 18-of-27, 234 yards and 3 TDs as the Patriots raced out to a commanding 24-3 lead deep into the second quarter.

Unfortunately the exceptionally good-looking Garoppolo left the game with a shoulder injury and did not return. That forced rookie Jacoby Brissett into action. It also spearheaded a Miami rally that nearly stole the game.

Brissett did little, and little was asked of the third-rounder from North Carolina State. After leading the Patriots on a scoring drive to open the third quarter and expand the lead to 31-3, New England pretty much held on for dear life. Miami, which went 3-and-out on its first three possessions and turned the ball over on three of its next four drives, finally got it going even without injured RB Arian Foster.

They even got a shot at tying it up, driving deep into New England territory down 31-24 until Tannehill got picked for the third time in the back of the end zone. As was the case often, he was hit on the throw. A week after coming up just short against Seattle, the Dolphins couldn’t overcome an atrocious start against the short-handed Patriots. Those are good teams, but Miami couldn’t best either despite the Seahawks and Patriots both playing at about a “C” grade level.

The good news for New England is the Patriots are 2-0 despite Tom Brady and Gronk not playing a snap yet. Brady will miss two more weeks on suspension. Gronk should be back before then. Initial reports on Garoppolo’s shoulder are optimistic,

New England has home games with Houston and Buffalo the next two weeks. If Garoppolo is fine, they’ll be favored in both. Even a split to take the Pats to 3-1 sets the stage for Brady to come back and lead this team on an absolute tear. The New England defense is playing well at all three levels and the offense will only get stronger with the stars returning. 

$.04--The Buffalo Bills are a hot mess. That mess caught fire on Thursday night with a 37-31 home loss to the hated New York Jets.

Buffalo surrendered over 500 yards to Ryan Fitzpatrick and the Jets offense, 374 in the air and exactly 100 rushing yards to Matt Forte. There were coverage lapses, bad angles, poor tackling and very little pass rush (1 sack, 2 QB hits in 35 dropbacks). Buffalo’s defense, Head Coach Rex Ryan’s baby cradled in the hands of his twin brother Rob, is abysmal.

Rex’s natural response was to fire Offensive Coordinator Greg Roman. Because that’s what coaches do when the going gets tough--they find a sacrificial lamb. As irrational as it might seem to fire the offensive coordinator after a night where the team scored 31 despite missing left tackle Cordy Glenn, that’s how the Ryan’s roll.

They might not be rolling in Buffalo much longer. Ryan alluded to his tenuous job security in the offseason, and his team just isn’t very good. All the issues I listed in the season forecast have quickly surfaced. Remember, this is the easy part of Buffalo’s schedule and they’re 0-2. The Ryan brothers might not survive if that goes to 0-4. As Bill Parcells would say, there aren’t any more Mohicans in the barrel to fire. 

$.05--Another of the surprising Sunday results came in San Diego, where the Chargers railroaded the visiting Jaguars 38-14. The score is a lot closer than the actual game would indicate.

It’s not that I think San Diego is all that bad, but given their mounting injury list it’s hard to fathom the Chargers posting 38 points on anyone. Jacksonville invested so much money and draft resources in upgrading the defense, but they were no match for a team missing its normal starting wideouts in Keenan Allen and Stevie Johnson, both on IR. Running back Danny Woodhead left in the first half with a leg injury, too.

The Jaguars still had no answers. Philip Rivers looked in his prime in firing strikes to the likes of Travis Benjamin and Tyrell Williams. Benjamin, a Browns castoff, caught 6 passes for 115 yards and 2 TDs. Melvin Gordon ran wild, topping 100 yards and scoring a touchdown. The Jaguars defense couldn’t get off the field or out of its own way; San Diego converted 7-of-13 third downs while picking up 5 first downs via penalty.

Jacksonville’s offense wasn’t much better. Almost half the 388 total yards came on the three drives after San Diego seized a 35-0 lead and was trying to get off the field without getting any injuries. Blake Bortles continues to be the master of the garbage time production. This is not a new development…

 

Jacksonville had as many turnovers as first down gains in the first half, three apiece. They got one other first down via a pass interference but then turned the ball over quickly.

These are the Jaguars that have perennially picked in the top 5 in the draft. I was among many who thought they were going to be a lot better, but it has not happened. There might not be five worse outings by any team in the NFL this year than the giant egg the Jaguars laid in San Diego. For a fan base desperate for meaningful wins, this has to be incredibly demoralizing. Head Coach Gus Bradley probably won’t survive many more eggs like this one.

$.06--As one of the hats I wear is covering the Detroit Lions, I unfortunately had to suffer through the 16-15 home loss to Tennessee.

This was one absurdly awful display, one that could, should and would alienate everyone but the most hardcore fan. The game threatened the NFL record for accepted penalties, with 25 through the first three quarters. It ended with 29 accepted penalties for over 200 yards. Nine of the defensive penalties created first downs.

Detroit committed 17 of those penalties. Most were legit, too. The one that hurts is the offensive pass interference call on Eric Ebron which wiped out a touchdown catch, a call that will leave the overworked officiating crew in utter embarrassment upon further review…

 

That was one of three Detroit touchdowns taken off the board. Matthew Stafford threw a TD pass on the play after the above but that too was wiped out.

The CBS broadcast was just as terrible. Maybe even worse. Andrew Catalon on the play-by-play was solid on the game action, but talkative Steve Beuerlein on color commentary with Steve Tasker was a chaotic mess. Tasker offered nothing of substance and was dead wrong more than once. Tasker’s lacking knowledge of the NFL rulebook is unacceptable for a national broadcast, even if it’s the lowest rung on the CBS announcing ladder.

As I said in a postgame Facebook Live post, God bless anyone who watched all of this monstrosity without yanking out their hair or drinking multiple alcoholic beverages. This game is the exact reason why so many fans turn off the NFL. I’m paid to watch it and still wanted to turn away. I have to watch it again, probably two or three more times as I break it down for other entities. And y’all think my job is fun…

$.07--If you ever needed more evidence that college preseason polls are completely pointless, this season cements it.

Three of the teams in the preseason top 10 in the coaches’ poll are now national title roadkill. Oklahoma (No. 2) and Notre Dame (No. 9) are both 1-2 and now unranked thanks to defenses that cannot stop quality opponents. Florida State (No. 4) just lost 63-20 to Louisville and also trailed by 3 TDs in its opening win over Ole Miss, which was ranked 12th preseason but is now 1-2 after also blowing a three-score lead to Alabama. There’s not a lot of shame in losing to the Seminoles or Crimson Tide, but the excruciating collapses in both is disturbing.

Tennessee (No. 10) barely beat Appalachian State and struggled mightily with my own alma mater, Ohio University. App State got bombed 45-10 at home by Miami FL Saturday. LSU (No. 6) dropped its opener in Wisconsin and had trouble putting away FCS-level Jacksonville State before squeaking past a Mississippi State team that lost to South Alabama earlier.

Iowa (No. 15) lost at home to FCS power North Dakota State. The same Badgers who upended LSU barely stopped Georgia State form the monumental upset on Saturday. USC (No. 17) is 1-2 but at least the Trojans have respectable losses to Alabama and Stanford. Clemson remains at its preseason No. 3 mark even though the Tigers won their first two games (Auburn and Troy) by 6 points apiece.

Meanwhile, Louisville is boat-racing everyone. That whipping of Florida State was not a fluke. Houston, which beat Oklahoma, can put up points in a hurry despite an inconsistent overall performance. They’re both top 7 teams now after opening at 23rd and 13th, respectively. Outside of Wisconsin, the best team in the B1G West is Western Michigan, which has pounded both Northwestern and Illinois.

All this craziness demonstrates the absolute folly of preseason rankings, other than to drive hype and hysteria on upsets. It is way too hard to forecast what 18 and 19 year olds will do when thrust into the pressure cooker, or how an injury here or a lost assistant coach there will impact a college team. I’ve seen just about every team that is currently receiving votes in the coaches’ poll but I’m not all that comfortable ranking them beyond having Alabama at the top and Ohio State No. 2. Stop the madness and stop throwing so much attention on the truly worthless preseason polls! 

$.08--NFL Quickies

--On the same day where the NFL prominently aired a promo video featuring J.J. Watt using a finger wag gesture in plain view of opponents, Kansas City CB Marcus Peters was flagged for taunting for doing the exact same gesture at Watt’s Texans. I…can’t…even…

--Kudos to Hyundai for the Bo Jackson/Brian Bosworth Tecmo Bowl ad. For men of a certain age, that game and those two players are touchstone icons. My wife doesn’t get it but it makes me want to go and buy one of those Nintendo simulators. And maybe look at a Hyundai too.

--The Giants beating the Saints didn’t surprise me as I picked it, but the 16-13 score is about what I expected at the end of the first quarter. New York scored a special teams TD on a Janoris Jenkins blocked FG return too. I’m anxious to watch the defenses in this one because I didn’t see any way either would keep the enemy below 30, let alone 20.

--Keeping with the Giants, they and the Vikings are the only 2-0 teams in the NFC. Washington and New Orleans are the only 0-2 NFC teams.

--Bad sign for the future in San Diego: the Chargers home opener drew less than 70% paid attendance on a beautiful afternoon for football.

--I am not purposely giving Pittsburgh’s 24-16 win over Cincinnati the short shrift but I didn’t see one snap of it and just didn’t have time to dive into it to do it justice. Trust me, I would have loved to have watched that instead of the Tennessee/Detroit debacle or the other regionally available early game, Dallas’ nice win over Washington. 

$.09--Draft Analysis

I spent Saturday at the Big House watching Colorado visit Michigan. And while I evaluated several players on a beautiful, seasonably hot sunny day in Ann Arbor, the focus here is on Michigan standout Jabrill Peppers.

The junior from New Jersey turned in one of the best individual performances I’ve ever witnessed in person and I’ve been to at least 150 college games over the years. Peppers was all over the field, befitting a player who has moved from cornerback as a freshman to safety last year to hybrid linebacker/safety this season. On Saturday he lined up at every defensive position other than tackle or end.

No. 5 announced his presence with authority on Colorado’s very first run play, knifing around the block and dropping the runner for a 3-yard loss. While the rest of the Wolverines sleepwalked thru the first half, Peppers took it upon himself to make seemingly every play.

He wasn’t perfect. When lined up as the high safety, he was slow to recognize his coverage assignment a couple of times, including Colorado’s long TD pass early. In coverage, Peppers shows a little tightness in his hips and ankles; niftier receivers can shake him in man coverage.

Everything else was almost off-the-charts good. What stands out most is Peppers’ play speed. He covers so much ground so quickly, so effortlessly. Some guys will time a little faster in the 40 in shorts and shirts, but with the pads on I’ll take Peppers in a race against any other college football player in the nation. He ran the final 30 yards of his punt return TD in exactly 3 seconds. He covered the 10 yards on his A-gap blitz sack faster than the Buffaloes QB could backpedal two steps.

Okay, lots of defenders can close quickly and cover a lot of range with impressive speed. What helps Peppers stand above is his ability to break down and finish the play. His body control and balance while at full gallop are the literal definition of awesome.

I have compared Peppers to Myles Jack from last year for some time, consistently noting I prefer Peppers. After seeing him in person in his new “defensive variable weapon” role, I embrace both parts of that equation even more. Anything anyone wanted Myles Jack to do, Jabrill Peppers can do it too. And he does actual football things (you know: tackling, blitzing, staying off blocks, containing a gap) a lot better than the UCLA product now in Jacksonville. I have no hesitation in saying Peppers will wind up being a top-5 talent for me in this draft class, even at this early juncture.

$.10--Frequent readers know I’m a big fan of hard rock and heavy metal music. One of my favorite ways to unwind is attending concerts, and this past week I was fortunate enough to see shows on back-to-back nights.

On Wednesday I caught one of my favorite “new” bands, Twelve Foot Ninja. They’re an Australian prog metal/fusion outfit that’s kind of hard to describe. Watch this (NSFW) video to get an idea of their personality and their unique sound. I saw them as the opening act for a four-band bill at a smaller club in Grand Rapids, but I only stayed for the Ninjas.

It was incredible. I stood mere feet from the stage, my foot resting on the barrier that keeps the patrons from reaching up to the band on stage. After their quick 7-song set, I lingered around their merchandise table for a few minutes and got to meet the lead singer and drummer. They graciously posed for pictures and genuinely appreciated having a hundred or so folks who actually knew their songs. That’s fairly common for seeing up-and-coming bands at places like The Intersection; I met the guys from Chon a couple of weeks earlier after seeing them open for Periphery at the same venue.

I love the intimacy of the small venue. The sound is right there in your face but not overpowering. Even at the back area near the bar, you’re no more than about 60 yards from the stage and can make out facial expressions and gestures. I’ve seen prominent national acts like Slash and Halestorm at similar-sized venues, and while the stage is smaller the acts still treat it like it’s a 5,000-seat arena…

Which takes me to the following night. Thursday I caught Volbeat and Avenged Sevenfold at the big arena in town. I’m a big fan of both bands and had never seen A7X before, so I was quite pumped.

The discrepancy from night to night, venue to venue was as stark as M. Shadow’s screaming “Nightmare” growl at the start of that classic song. In the larger arena, the sound isn’t so tight. In Grand Rapids, Van Andel Arena is primarily a hockey stadium. The acoustics are for mass cacophony, not musical clarity. It shows in the intricacies of the guitar works and especially the bass and bass drums.

I saw Volbeat a few weeks earlier in a smaller venue and their sound was CD quality. It was clear as a bell and every note was crisp and distinguishable. In Van Andel, some of the vocals washed out in the mix. I was a good distance away from the stage and couldn’t make out who was who other than by their instruments. A7X smartly used video screens to augment the on-stage action, replete with pyrotechnics and slick production that is impossible at a smaller venue.

And I really liked that. The sound of some 4,500 folks all screaming the chorus to “Buried Alive” with fists in the air is a fantastic experience. It reminded me of the bombast and spectacle of shows I saw in my youth, of having Tommy Lee’s drum kit rise up and spin around on Motley Crue’s best tour, of Billy Joel leading the Richfield Coliseum in a deafening sing-along of Piano Man, of Rob Halford riding a Harley onstage to lead Judas Priest. All that stuff is really cool and I cherish those memories.

Yet as I get older, I appreciate the smaller venues more. I like the more exclusive feel, the clearer sound, the more ambitious and less rehearsed energy from the bands themselves. I like the $5 craft beers a lot more than the $11 Bud Lights too, not to mention paying a flat $20 instead of $78 plus the $8 service fee and the $12 parking.

Do yourself a favor and go catch a concert at a smaller club. It doesn’t have to be rock, but if you want me to tag along it’d better be.