$.01--The first week is often full of surprises, and this year is no exception. For my money, the biggest eyebrow raiser was Miami’s 33-20 victory over New England.

The outcome isn’t terribly stunning, as the Dolphins won the last meeting in Miami too. But in handing New England its first 0-1 start in over a decade, they did it by beating up New England. Here’s the Patriots’ second-half drive chart:

Plays

Yards

Outcome

4

14

Fumble

3

2

Punt

5

2

Punt

3

-5

Punt

3

1

Punt

4

-4

Fumble

15

37

Downs

That works out to 37 plays for 47 yards and zero points after halftime. Miami’s suffocating defense squeezed all life out of Tom Brady and the New England offense with constant pressure and strong downfield coverage. It was enough to let Ryan Tannehill rally the Dolphins after a sputtering, turnover-plagued start.

Miami seemed to want to beat New England more than the Patriots wanted to win. That’s an oversimplification, but when Tom Brady throws 56 times and doesn’t top 250 yards, Miami’s defense was the best unit on the field. They looked sharper, hungrier and more schematically prepared than New England’s offense.

Dolphins fans are desperately hoping their team can follow this up and assert themselves as the team to beat in the AFC East. They have that potential, but write off the Patriots at your own peril.

$.02--Much to the nation’s surprise, the Buffalo Bills join the Dolphins atop the AFC East (as do the Jets, who beat Oakland in a yawner). My personal pick for the #1 overall pick in the 2015 NFL Draft, which of course they’ve already traded away to Cleveland, Buffalo charged into Chicago and laid a pile of bison dung on the mistake-prone Bears.

I want to give E.J. Manuel and the Bills offense a lot of credit, I really do. But Chicago’s defense was so lousy that it’s hard to jump to any positive conclusions. I thought the Bears upgraded with Jared Allen, Lamar Houston and some veteran stopgap safeties. If the first week is to be a judge, I thought wrong.

Chicago could have a very serious problem at linebacker. For years they’ve relied upon Lance Briggs being terrific to cover a lot of holes, including when a certain #54 was still playing next to him. From what I saw in the preseason and again against Buffalo, Briggs is no longer capable of plugging holes. In fact, he might be digging one of his own as Father Time catches up to the future Hall of Famer.

None of the youngsters drafted recently to help bolster the position are worthy of seeing a gameday active roster. The price of swinging and missing badly on Shea McClellin and Jon Bostic, both of whom they drafted 3-4 rounds above where many graded them, is that the back end still lacks competence. The corners can make plays, but the guys between the tackles are going to continue to struggle.

Jay Cutler also struggled, and that’s even more problematic. These Bears are going to have to outscore opponents, and that means Cutler has to be sharp and smart. He was neither in this game. He threw “only” two INTs. It could easily have been five. His ball placement was consistently off, and several of his throws were forces into heavy coverage when better options were present.

Congrats to the Bills for their first-ever win in Chicago!

$.03--Kansas City was one of the pleasant surprises of 2013. Hopefully the Chiefs faithful can hold onto those good feelings, because 2014 probably couldn’t have started any worse. They lost at home to Tennessee 26-10, but that’s only part of the pain.

The Chiefs lost their best defensive player, linebacker Derrick Johnson, to a torn Achilles tendon. If you want to argue that Dontari Poe is better I won’t fight that assertion, but Johnson is the centerpiece and leader of the defense. They have no depth at inside backer whatsoever; the other starter is Josh Mauga, who might be a serviceable backup at best. Browns castoff James Michael Johnson is the next man up. Yikes!

Johnson wasn’t the only Chiefs defensive starter who tore his Achilles. Underappreciated end Mike DeVito also suffered the same painful fate. He was far and away the best run stuffer on the team. The Titans exploited this and gashed the Chiefs for 162 yards on the ground, a figure that would have been much higher if RB Shonn Greene didn’t continually run into the butt of his blockers.

Conditions have to be pretty much optimal for Alex Smith to guide this Chiefs team to wins, and they are far from optimal now. Smith struggled in this one, throwing three INTs. Jamaal Charles struggled, rushing for just 19 yards. New kicker Cairo Santos struggled, missing a 47-yard FG after bouncing his earlier 35-yarder off the right upright. It could be a very long, frustrating year in Kansas City.

$.04--San Francisco pounced all over Dallas, leaping out to a quick 21-3 lead in a little over 10 minutes. The hapless Cowboys turned the ball over on four of their first five possessions, including a fumble return TD by safety Chris Culliver on their opening drive.

Not much happened in the rest of the game. Carlos Hyde looked impressive in his Niners debut, while Frank Gore efficiently chugged out yards. The final wound up just 28-17, made closer by a garbage time TD from Tony Romo to Terrance Williams.

It’s not often Romo is the problem in Dallas, but he was on this day. Their embattled defense played well enough to win, for once. They blanked San Francisco in the second half, allowing just over 3 yards per play in that stanza. They just couldn’t overcome the massive black hole their QB dug for them.

The Niners defense was more opportunistic than stifling, though they did force two quick 3-and-outs impressively in the second half when their own offense bogged down. Colin Kaepernick had modest numbers (16-for-23, 201 yards, 2 TDs) but it was what he didn’t do that helped win the game. He didn’t turn the ball over. He didn’t make poor reads. He didn’t tuck and run haphazardly. He managed the game, and that’s all that San Francisco needed him to do to win the game. They can win a lot of games that way. A lot of games.

$.05--Denver hosted Indianapolis in the Sunday night affair. After stomping out to a big early lead, the Broncos got comfortable and coasted to the 31-24 victory.

The first half might as well have been an infomercial for Orange Julius. Broncos TE/WR Julius Thomas caught three touchdowns passes, beating three different Colts defenders who had no prayer in trying to cover the emerging star. The third was a quick strike in the red zone where he beat LaRon Landry so badly that it almost appeared the overmuscled safety didn’t even try to recover.

The Colts had some great chances in the third quarter, but their totally inept interior OL kept them out of the end zone. Two 1st-and-goal opportunities ended in 3 points, as Colts fans everywhere called for Offensive Coordinator Pep Hamilton’s predictable, conservative head. Denver was sloppy and lethargic for much of the second half, but the Colts just didn’t have the horses to run with the Broncos.

It was quite interesting to follow the progress of this game on social media. More and more national analysts, not to mention Colts fans, are finally seeing the real flaws in Andrew Luck. They’re also starting to see the light on Colts GM Ryan Grigson, who might have actually made the team worse around Luck in the last two years with a series of ponderous personnel decisions.

It’s hard to blame Luck for this one. His offensive line was overmatched and the playcalling strategy was weak. He did a masterful job rallying the team back into contention. The Indy defense was no match for Peyton Manning and the loaded skill position players. And that’s why much of the criticism in Indy will get pointed squarely at Grigson. As it should be.

$.06--There are apparently such things as moral victories. Cleveland fell behind Pittsburgh 27-3 at halftime. Johnny Football didn’t play. They even saw their punter ninja-kicked…

…yet Northeast Ohio seems strangely happy with the loss.

That’s because Brian Hoyer and the rugged Browns running game absolutely dominated the final half. Coming out of the tunnel for the second half, Cleveland scored three TDs and a field goal on its first four possessions while holding the Steelers to one first down in over 20 minutes of action.

For Cleveland, that’s enough to take away the sting of falling to 0-1 for the 11th year in a row. A team showing resiliency and attitude, rallying from a huge deficit only to lose on a last-second field goal is enough progress for Browns fans to feel good about their team.

Much of what the Browns did well, namely running the ball and stopping Pittsburgh from doing the same, can carry over. The offensive line looked great, and rookie RBs Isaiah Crowell and Terrance West both showed power and decisiveness with the ball.

Unfortunately, they’re not playing the Steelers’ slow defense every week. Other than rookie Ryan Shazier, the LBs and DBs in Pittsburgh play slower than any other group in the league. Cleveland will find tougher sledding later.

As for Antonio Brown’s kick, there’s no way that isn’t grounds for immediate ejection. Even if his intent wasn’t malicious, the result certainly was. No place for letting things like that go in a league that flagged Texas safety D.J. Swearinger for a clean hit on RG3. Swearinger lowered his head as he drove Griffin into the ground, making it look much worse than it was and drawing a controversial flag. This Brown play was the opposite. 

$.07--Frequent readers know I’m generally a Big Ten apologist in college football. This past Saturday, however, requires an apology from the B1G to the football world.

Even the “impressive” scores have asterisks. Wisconsin barely led at halftime, while Iowa trailed almost the entire game.

This might be the low point for the conference. The two best teams, Michigan State and Ohio State, failed badly against quality opponents who showed real vulnerability. Michigan, still somehow clinging to a high profile, was shut out for the first time in 30 years in a game that wasn’t nearly as close as the 31-0 final would indicate.

Here is a preemptive warning for my fellow B1G region denizens: ignore the conference schedule. Sparty and Wisconsin are both going to look like legit final four contending teams as they tear through Purdue, Maryland and their ilk. It’s a false positive, the eye in the hurricane. This conference got blown away in its first big test, and it will get shredded in bowl season, too.

$.08--NFL Quickies

1. The Fox pregame show is generally my favorite to watch, and this Sunday cemented it. Rob Riggle, normally the weak point, doing an extended bit with Steel Panther to a reworked “Tomorrow Night”--the best party song ever!-- just might be the best pregame bit I’ve ever witnessed.

2. At one point in Baltimore’s game against Cincinnati, Joe Flacco had 95 yards on 31 pass attempts. As Vincent Frank of Sportsnaut noted, that’s really impressive because it’s so hard to accomplish so little. Flacco is arguably the worst starting QB in the AFC, and that’s the lesser conference too. This loss was his first-ever home defeat in September. If he doesn’t play significantly better, it’s not going to be his last this year.

3. I’ve been a frequent critic of Texans LB Brooks Reed, but he played a whale of a game against Washington. He showed patience before attacking, a welcome development instead of just thrusting forward full tilt without regard for the offense. He has enough skill to be a real X-factor if he can keep it up.

4. Philadelphia escaped an upset from a game Jaguars team by scoring the last 31 points of a 31-17 win. Thank Darren Sproles, the smallest guy on the field, for the biggest play. His 4th-and-1 scamper ended 51 yards later in the end zone and sapped the Jaguars spirit in the process.

5. It’s a shame #1 overall pick Jadeveon Clowney will miss at least a month with a torn meniscus in his knee. They must not rush him back, however. His long-term presence is more important than what one or two more weeks without the pass-rushing phenom might mean.

6. Panthers rookie WR Kelvin Benjamin had an outstanding debut, catching 8 Derek Anderson passes including a spectacular TD on a heavily contested throw. Carolina beats Tampa without Cam Newton, a huge step forward for the Panthers.

$.09--College/Draft quickies

1. I was at Notre Dame/Michigan, and while I don’t want to detract from what the Irish accomplished, this game highlights two major flaws for Michigan. The Wolverines will not win more than half their games with Devin Gardner at quarterback, even in a weak B1G. Michigan wants him to be the poised, accurate athlete who eviscerated their defense in Everett Golson, but Gardner has an overdeveloped panic gene and aims his throws instead of just throwing them.

The other big flaw is the defensive game plan. If they think they have the corners to handle playing on islands, they’re delusional. The problem is that the safeties were even worse than the corners against Notre Dame. Their coverages looked disjointed and slow all night long. Brady Hoke might pay for these with his job.

2. The B1G wasn’t the only power conference that struggled. The PAC-12 saw Washington give up over 50 to FCS-level Eastern Washington, while a UMass team booted from the MAC for being too lousy had Colorado dead to rights before a late collapse. UCLA struggled with Memphis, while Arizona nearly pissed away a big early lead against UTSA (yes that’s a real school). Nevada pounded Washington State, while Oregon State nearly lost to Hawaii. Oregon is fantastic (more on that coming) but the rest of that major power looks pretty minor so far too.

3. I’m not surprised Oregon beat Michigan State in Eugene, though I did pick the Spartans. I am very surprised at how well Marcus Mariota carved up a very good Sparty defense. Mariota was the hot knife and the Michigan State D was the soft butter after halftime. It was a triumphant tour de force performance that should put the Ducks QB at the top of everyone’s preliminary Heisman ballot. The Ducks D deserves credit too, as their speed and pressure forced Connor Cook and the Spartans offense into numerous mistakes in the second half.

4. Did some film work on Arizona WR Austin Hill. He’s not well known because he missed 2013 with a torn ACL. His first two games of ’14 are a mixed bag. Against UNLV, Hill looked explosive getting deep and ran sharp, strong routes. He showed he could move well in space and wasn’t afraid to be physical. Against UTSA, the Roadrunners rolled more coverage Hill’s way and focused on being more physical closer to the line. It worked, as Hill was effectively taken out of the game. He doesn’t have the quickness or consistent burst off the line to get himself free against that sort of coverage. If he can improve on this, he’s going to be a solid NFL receiver. 

$.10--Today (Sept. 7th) marks my 18th wedding anniversary. On a rain-soaked afternoon--we were married on the day Hurricane Fran hit Cleveland--my lovely wife Julie and I exchanged vows and began our life together.

That day also marked the last time Ohio State and Notre Dame played in football. As our guests dodged the leaking roof of our reception, they danced their way to the hotel bar to catch up on the game. I’d like to say I didn’t do that, but my Buckeye-bleeding father knows that’s not true. He gave up his tickets that day and has not made me feel guilty about it once.

Football has always been a healthy part of our marriage. We’ve spent anniversaries on long weekends seeing Virginia Tech, Notre Dame and Texas all play home games as a big part of the celebration.

Even though I’m an Ohio State guy and she’s a Michigan gal, we’ve learned to tolerate and even appreciate the other side. It’s a friendly rivalry in our home, and in our extended families as well. Our kids don’t comprehend why others project so much nastiness towards the opposing side, and we’re quite proud of teaching that sort of détente.

This was an unusual anniversary in that it fell on a football Sunday. Of course with my vocation, it was fairly impossible to celebrate beyond a nice breakfast. It’s an accommodation made out of love. She never hits me with guilt or sadness, just the occasional Wilson when I shank a volleyball serve reception.

Our wedding day is better known to the world as the day Tupac Shakur was shot and killed. One of 2Pac’s posthumous recordings, and one of the few examples of his work this metalhead is familiar with, is a song called “Until the End of Time.” That’s us, baby! Happy Anniversary.